You are all wasting valueable time.

shame 

noun, verb, shamed, sham⋅ing.


–noun
1.
the painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc., done by oneself or another: She was overcome with shame.
2.
susceptibility to this feeling: to be without shame.
3.
disgrace; ignominy: His actions brought shame upon his parents.
4.
a fact or circumstance bringing disgrace or regret: The bankruptcy of the business was a shame. It was a shame you couldn't come with us.


–verb (used with object)
5.
to cause to feel shame; make ashamed: His cowardice shamed him.
6.
to drive, force, etc., through shame: He shamed her into going.
7.
to cover with ignominy or reproach; disgrace.—Idioms
8.
for shame! you should feel ashamed!: What a thing to say to your mother! For shame!
9.
put to shame,
a.
to cause to suffer shame or disgrace.
b.
to outdo; surpass: She played so well she put all the other tennis players to shame.



-Courtesy Dictionary.com



Wow! Look at that list. That is one word that has a lot to say for itself, doesn't it? Well I have a lot to say about it.



Number one: It's USELESS.



Yes, you heard right. It is of no real importance. And I can prove it. I will do so by simply examining the definition above and the consequences that it can tend to have in some one's life.



Let's start with the first, shall we?



1.
the painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc., done by oneself or another: She was overcome with shame.



Ouch! Look at the second word in that sentence. Painful. Yes. That's true. Anyone who has ever been made to feel shame can agree. It's painful, and I said made because as small children we truly have no real concept of shame. The feeling arises from the consciousness. It makes you feel that you or someone you care about has done something dishonorable, improper, or even ridiculous.



Now those three words have their uses but we must agree that their meanings are taught to us. At the age of 4 or 5 we just run around doing as we wish until someone controls us. The adults in our lives. Bare with me but I want you to follow what I'm saying as I try to reawaken a certain feeling in you.



Can you remember being 4 or 5? Can you remember how the world seemed open, friendly, a huge fantasy playground in which you could do anything you wanted? Do you remember how happy that made you? That freedom tasted sweeter than anything else.



Until...our parents, our teachers, our caregivers decided that we were 'out of hand'. They made this decision for us based on what they believed was correct. Not what was truly, indisputably correct, no. Only what they thought was correct. Then they told us to stop. To cease our silly behaviours.



If you were anything like me I'm sure there was a time when you asked, "But why?".



We were putting them in a tricky situation by being so bold to ask, but of course they always had some reason, some explanation handy, and if they didn't, they made it up. They said either what they truly believed or what they wanted us to believe in order to get us to do what they wanted.



Please, take a pause and read the last part of that sentence again. What they wanted. Not what we wanted, no, someone else.



And it didn't stop there.



Then we go to school. A whole new world is open to us. A world in which we now begin to experience minds outside of the home. Some were like us (and by us I do not mean that you and I are exactly alike. I mean that everyone is different and everyone will meet people out there similar to them every once in a while), some were not. Now these kids, the ones that would soon become your 'bullies' if you will, they were not accepting if you did not agree with them.



Hell, maybe you were the one who wasn't accepting when someone disagreed with you. But the point is you then went on to follow the most aptly put saying in the world..."monkey see, monkey do".



The adults in your life had already begun molding you, making you into what would be comfortable for them to have amongst them. It was now your turn to mimic their behaviour and begin trying to do the same to those in your surroundings.



Thus, criticism was introduced into your life.



Now criticism in it's own right will definitely have it's own post, a very, very long one, but we all know what it means. We all know what it can do. Now realize, knowing this then deep down you have to know the power the person criticizing you suddenly has.



Yes. Power. The thing we all crave deep down. It's only human nature to want it no matter how wrong you know it is to do so. But that's also going to be another post.



Now criticism begins to take it's hold. Not only are the adults in your life now telling you that you are wrong but some of your peers are as well. Without any really clear definition they teach you slowly but surely what to be ashamed of.



And shame is born. It's now there, slithering from brain cell to brain cell; a dark, misty fog that begins to cloud the light inside. The silly things, the eccentric things that once made you happy are now being told they are bad. Your two inner voices (yes, we have two) are now at war. One is saying do these things, the other is saying that they are bad. And most likely they weren't bad at all. Maybe, just maybe, there were only different from the norm.



They were the things that made you happy.



These naysayers soon follow you into your adult life. Over the course of time you will try once again to do what makes the individual in you happy. Once again they will be there telling you no. This becomes even worse in your teenage years. Those are the years where who you are tries once again to burst forth with the fury of a thousand hell hounds (thus rebellion :P) and there is everyone again. There they are, wagging their fingers and shaking their heads.



Misery is slowly making it's way into you.



Shame is nothing but misery. And it's the most powerful weapon anyone could ever hold over another. This is when what people think about you starts meaning more to you than what you want. What they might say if you were to do something becomes a massively influential factor in whether you do it or not. They are now, with a simple wag of their tongues, in control of your very existence. They decide what you do. Not you.



Now shame of course can mean something when it's applied correctly. But it's not. It's probably the most abused concept ever. Take a look at the bible. See how they controlled? Before the seventies, was anyone different truly happy? There are things in this life that when done deserve real shame.



Murder. Rape. Pedophilia. You get the point.



Sexuality, religion, your likes in music, clothes, etc. Those are the things that need to be left alone. The things that make you a unique you. Do you really think there is anything out there more beautiful than that you. I might not know you, I know nothing about you, but I know this:



You are beautiful. Maybe not physically, but inside there's a unique individual that can not be compared to any other. There is someone that can not be replicated. That is what makes you priceless. Think of it. Sometimes you'll find yourself asking: why would someone pay millions of dollars for a one of a kind work of art that anyone would probably say looks like shit? The uneducated people will say it looks like shit. But the one doing the buying, to them, it's worth the money. They can appreciate the beauty in it because it's the only one of it's kind.



I hope you can somehow understand what I'm getting at. You are you. There will never be another you. Your kids might come close. Reincarnation might exist. Yet, it will never be the same you that exists right now, at this moment.

Read the parts of the definition I highlighted. Try to understand what I'm getting at. If you take anything away from this post let it be this:

Shame is a waste of your time. Shame and the thoughts it brings get in the way of you doing what you wish when you wish. Shame is brought on by a fear of what others might think of you. Are they really worth so much that your inner voice, your true voice, becomes locked within you?



"He who can, does; he who cannot, teaches."- George Bernard Shaw 1856-1950